


Can a former slave ever be truly free?

by LurKingFisher



Series: Benedict: Life of a Former Slave [1]
Category: HBTUAS, How Best to Use A Sword, Original Work
Genre: Age Difference, Ephebophilia (referenced), Former Slave, M/M, Master/Slave, Past Child Abuse, Pedophilia (referenced), Sex with Slaves Which Means Consent Can't be Had, Slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-01-31 12:48:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21446452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LurKingFisher/pseuds/LurKingFisher
Summary: Sold into slavery at the age of 12, and rescued from the horror of the slave markets by his new master, Benedict considers Theodore his saviour. Never had he felt so loved or needed before he met Theodore. Yet Benedict has always lived in the shadow of Theodore’s first slave, the man he truly loved, just as much as he’s faded into the background compared to the procession of subsequent slaves.Now an adult, and a free man, Benedict chooses to continue to serve Theodore.
Series: Benedict: Life of a Former Slave [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1546123
Comments: 10
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AntagonizedPenguin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AntagonizedPenguin/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Whoever Said Every Cloud Had a Silver Lining Obviously Never Endured Slavery](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5988648) by [AntagonizedPenguin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AntagonizedPenguin/pseuds/AntagonizedPenguin). 
  * Inspired by [There Is Simply No Such Thing as a Free Decision for Anyone Wearing a Slave Collar](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14099367) by [AntagonizedPenguin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AntagonizedPenguin/pseuds/AntagonizedPenguin). 

> In a city where slavery is legal, and slaves mere property with no rights, Theodore’s treatment of his underage slaves might be considered comparatively kind, but it has left its psychological mark on every single one of the boys. 
> 
> Benedict, was the second of Theodore’s slaves, but is now a free man, having been freed many years previously, as all Theodore’s slaves are eventually. He is the only one of almost 40 slaves, who has chosen to remain behind and continue to serve Theodore. 
> 
> While a victim of abuse himself, he also enables Theodore and helps perpetuate that cycle of abuse. He’s never laid a hand on any of the slaves, either in desire or anger, and he is only a servant, he does enable Theodore. He’s utterly devoted to Theodore, in a way that’s completely unhealthy for him, and to the detriment of his own life. His feelings will never be requited. 
> 
> Benedict is a minor character in AntagonizedPenguin’s How Best To Use A Sword series who ended up intriguing me. He just seems so serious and lonely and underappreciated. 
> 
> Theodore’s a paedophile/hebephile who plays a large part in the Slavery series, he buys boys, lavishes all of his attention on them, making them the centre of his world, and then moves onto the next boy when they grow too old for him. He’s a monster. While no actual paedophilia occurs in this fic, it is referenced. Theodore’s shadow looms over everything that Benedict does and thinks, but he himself only appears very briefly.
> 
> I initially just wanted to explore Benedict as a character and the mindset that allows him to continually justify Theodore's abuse. I also wanted to write some fun sexy times for him as an adult, to explore fix-it possibilities to get him away from his toxic relationship with Theodore, and send him on a path of healing. It didn't exactly happen that way.

Before Ian left, he had shattered Theodore into pieces, with a cruelty that Benedict still found at odds with the gentle man that he’d thought he’d known. Theodore had offered Ian everything, and more; freedom, his fortune and his heart, and Ian had struck with such cold calculated precision that left scars even to this day.

Benny had been left to pick up the shattered pieces of Theodore’s life. He’d wrapped his arms around Theodore as he’d sobbed, saying anything and everything to save him from himself. Benny had never felt so loved, so needed, until those dark days. And he’d sworn to himself that he’d never, ever put Theodore through that pain.

Few saw the side of Theodore that Benny had, that gentleness, the vulnerability, the sweetness, all of which Ian had sought to destroy.

Benedict loved Theodore more than Ian ever had, but he’d always remain the one who’d known Ian, the one whose very presence had driven Ian away. On his worst days Benedict almost believed those cruel words Theodore had raged after Ian’s betrayal. He did his best not to think of them, to push them aside, to show Theodore with his every action, how much he loved him. How every single other boy might leave, but Benedict never would. He’d always be there.

The last time they’d made love had been in the wake of all that despair, when a drunken Theodore had sought comfort, even as he was repulsed by Benny’s body. It had been desperate and sad, and Theodore had begged for Benny on top of, and inside of him, a reversal of their first time together, as if that would somehow change anything at all. Theodore had just lain there, and couldn’t get hard no matter what Benny did, and it ended in tears, with neither of them satisfied. That love had given Benny the strength to do what needed to be done. To go to the market, to buy his own replacement and to encourage Theodore to accept his nature.

Theodore had been furious at him, and that white hot anger was at least so much better than the misery that had preceded it. The last time they’d had sex was ignited by that anger, before Benedict had the strength to stay no. He’d felt all of Theodore’s rage, and frustration, and it had been surprisingly good, but the next time Theodore had looked at Benedict and not the boy-slave, Benedict had said no, and Theodore had respected that. It wasn’t as if Theodore had wanted him anyway.

Boys came and went and truly they were far better off than they would have been otherwise. They were never badly treated and they each had the promise of freedom, fortune, and a future at the end of their service. Was it better for them to starve? Better for them to serve multiple masters. To be overworked. To be beaten. To be driven to their death.

Theodore at least cared for them. They all grew to like it in the end, and they all ended up better off than they’d been before they joined his service. Theodore was not a bad man.

The last time they’d slept together had just involved sleep. It had been just after Denny’s death, when Benedict had held Theodore as he sobbed himself into exhaustion, stroking his back and doing all he could to assuage the man’s grief. He’d run interference, protecting Theodore from any prying eyes, cocooning Theodore from the world until he was ready to emerge once again. Theodore would not have wanted them to see him weak like this. He wouldn’t have wanted anyone to worry.

It had been Benedict who had prepared the manumission papers for all of Theodore’s slaves in the wake of that traumatic event. Theodore had been so close to freeing them all, and this time Benedict did nothing to assuage Theodore’s guilt. But then a chance trip to the slave market had Theodore returning with Marcus, and then when he’d inevitably tired of him, Daniel. 

Benedict did not trust Daniel. He was too much like Ian, not just in appearance, but in that hidden cruelty within him. There was no point in trying to warn Theodore, he was besotted in much the way he had been with Ian. Benedict could just hope that there’d be enough of Theodore left when Daniel was done, for him to put Theodore back together again. He hoped beyond hope that this boy would not completely destroy Theodore.

Benedict had never touched any of the boys. Not even the ones who begged. Not the pretty ones, not the clever ones, not the ones who threw themselves at him and tried to seduce him, nor the ones who begged him to save them from Theodore offering their bodies as currency. As if there weren’t so many monsters far worse than Theodore waiting for them at the slave markets. Benedict was always as professional as possible.

Sometimes it was easier not to get attached than others. They’d all leave in the end, each taking with them a piece of Theodore’s heart.

Benedict encouraged them to foster a friendship with each other, even as he kept his distance. He’d learned from Ian, who had faked friendship, and then not even bidden him goodbye.

Theodore could have easily afforded the boys each their own lavish room, furnished with luxuries, decorated to their whims. But the despair and the loneliness when Theodore inevitably stopped calling upon them, was a dangerous thing to experience alone. Isolated and with just their thoughts for company things would have been so much worse than they were. The boys looked out for each other, even as they sometimes argued and squabbled and fought. Most of the boys did form bonds with each other, help and guiding each other as best as they could. Even the difficult ones found it possible to be kind to each other, as if some sort of protectiveness was awakened within them.

Theodore never freed them alone anymore, never left them to tackle the terrifying world of choice without someone by their side. Benedict never touched any of them, not even after they were freed, even when they sought him out. They all seemed far too young for him, even when they were old.

Benedict never touched any of the houseservants. That would have simply confused matters and lead to undue complications and drama when it all fell to pieces.

Benedict’s loyalty was to Theodore first and foremost. His heart belonged to the man who truly was still his master. Besides he’d seen how Theodore’s heart had been broken time after time.

Every month or so, Benedict took his pay, to one of the better brothels, and paid an older man to fulfill his needs. Salt and pepper hair, the rough brush of stubble, strong hands that always knew exactly what they were doing. There’d been so many over the years and their faces all blended into one, but none of those were that sharp beauty of Theodore’s. It was the one time he could ever really let go, where he could be as in charge or not as he wished. An evening, or two, every month or so, dedicated to pleasure so he could return to Theodore, rested, refreshed and ready to work again.

When and if he found himself growing attached he’d move on, without a word, without a goodbye. It was easier that way. He always treated his partners with respect, and tipped generously. He never demanded anything they were not willing to give. But it was just a business transaction, even as they clung to each other, screaming in pleasure.

And it meant that when Theodore needed him he was always there.

Benedict wasn’t lonely. He had his friends. He had his duties. And he most importantly, had a valued place in Theodore’s life. A place where he belonged and was needed. How many others could say they were that fortunate?


	2. The differences between innocence and foolishness are not always immediately apparent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raul is in deep denial that Theodore is no longer attracted to him. Benny tries to be his friend and help him with life after Theodore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This began with wondering how Benedict learned to use a crossbow. I thought maybe one of the slaves showed him. I was imagining Raul to be one of Theodore’s earlier slaves, which puts him closer in age to Benny. Then I thought it’d be even funnier if the slave was terrible. I also thought Benny should have a friend. That clearly goes extremely well. I blame Shades of Grey for the ginger! o.O

"I have a plan. I'm going to save his life," Raul grinned. "It'll be just like that play. And then he's going to swoon, and he'll be all, 'wow, Raul, you're so handsome, so dashing,' I'll sweep him off his feet, he'll stare up into my eyes and he'll be mine, forever."

Benny laughed. "You'll have to actually hit the target first, and not one of the windows."

"That was an accident! Besides Sal's been showing me where I went wrong. I'm getting better. You want a go? It's not that difficult, come see." He waited for Benny to approach, but Benny was not that foolish, and so Raul just tried to angle the crossbow so Benny could see. "First you just pull back the string, hook it here. Then you load your bolt, that's the arrow thing."

"I know what a bolt is."

"I didn't, I thought it was like a whatya call it? Doesn't matter. Once you've done that you..." The bolt pinged out of the cross and shot out straight up into the air. Raul wobbled backwards as it did. Benny dove for cover.

"OW!!! Hold it proper. Careful of the recoil." Raul said. "Aim. And practice, practice practice. Did you see where the bolt went? Theo's gonna kill me if I hit anything. Benny, why're you on the ground, you're going to get dirty. Maybe I could say I was fighting off intruders, then he'll see how brave and heroic I am. You saw them, didn't you? They were huge and there I was, with my crossbow, bravely defending the whole mansion after they knocked you down!"

"I'm not going to lie to him, Raul. He does not like that."

"He only doesn't like it if he finds out."

"Raul!" Benedict chided.

"He likes my stories, and how imaginative and creative I am." There was just a hint of sadness in Raul's voice. "When I bring them all to life and become a real hero, he's going to have to want me back."

Benny sighed. "How about you show me how to use that crossbow again?"

-

"I know what end to hold the sword by Benny!" Raul complained. "I'm not stupid." He leapt, he swung the blade in as wide a sweep as he could.

"Could you perhaps not swing it so enthusiastically?"

"But that's how you best use a sword! I was watching the guards, there's lots of swinging and slashing and..." As he tried to demonstrate the sword flew out of Raul's hands, and straight over the wall.

Benny dove for cover. There were no screams from the other side of the wall which was always a good sign.

"Uh. Are swords are expensive? Should I go get that back?"

"Where did you even get it from?"

"I borrowed it. Don't look at me like that. I was going to give it back."

"I'll go get the sword. You try not to get into any more trouble."

\- 

Benedict entered the slave's quarters just in time to catch Raul hastily stashing something beneath his blankets. "Raul, what have you there?"

"I heard about this thing with ginger!"

Benny had so many questions he wasn't sure where even to start. What? Who? Why? "Show me?"

"The thing with the ginger? It's a sexy thing. I know you don't like me showing you that."

"No, don't show me the act, show me the ginger."

Raul retrieved the large root from where he'd poorly hidden it.

"Do you know how expensive that is?"

"It's just an ugly old root."

"It's a spice, they're very expensive because they make food taste nice. Theodore really likes his nice tasting food."

"I know! That's why I thought if I tasted nice he'd like that too. It's supposed to make everything tingly. Theodore loves how imaginative and creative I am."

"Raul, he'll just get upset that he doesn't have any ginger for his kitchen. You've not used it, have you?"

"Not yet. I wasn't sure how it worked."

"That's good. That means we won't need to tell him."

"I miss him, Benny. I just thought that maybe if I'd shown him I liked it more when we were doing it that he'd want me again."

"I'm going to put it back. How about you read some more of that book so you can tell me what happens next to the hero?"

-

"Have you thought about the theatre?" Benny asked.

"Do you think Theodore would let us go? That sounds fun."

"I meant becoming an actor. You're very creative. You'd be a great actor and if you were an actor you could be anyone. And they make everyone happy."

Raul still had absolutely no grasp of the value of money, regardless of how often Benny tried to teach him. Benny knew that Theodore was thinking of freeing him, and the moment that happened someone would try and take advantage of him. Benny didn't want that to happen.

"I don't think Theodore will like being in the theatre much."

"I meant on your own. Without him."

"I'm not leaving. I love him."

-

"What's that on your thigh, Raul?" Benny asked. He hoped beyond hope that despite the suspicious location and shape of the bruise, it was just another accident. Raul was prone to accidents.

"Sal got enthusiastic when he was showing me how to make Theodore happy."

"How was he showing you how to make Theodore happy?"

"With sex of course. Theodore likes sex and if I got better at it he'd want me again. He's giving me time so I can learn new things and then surprise him."

"It's not the first time." Benny sighed. How had he not noticed?

"Sal said it was to be a surprise."

"Sal has a pregnant wife and two young children. Theodore prefers to hire guards that have relationships with women so that they won't be tempted by any of his slaves."

"That's not true."

"It is." Benny sighs. "We will go to Theodore right this instant. We will tell him that Sal forced you."

"But he didn't..."

"You're a slave, Raul. You are Theodore's property. You don't get to have sex with anyone without his permission."

"But..."

"He'll fire Sal." Theodore valued his slave's innocence. Benny had no idea what Theodore was going to do with Raul now he was tainted. With the location of the lovebite it was possible that Theodore wouldn't notice. Or they could pass it off as a bruise if he did. Raul was as clumsy as he was stupid and if anyone was to hurt himself in such a way it would have been him. But then that would leave Sal to prey on the other boys.

"But Sal said he'd teach me all the things to make Theodore happy again."

"Sal lied. Theodore's never going to want you again."

"That's not true! You're just jealous because he never liked you. You're boring and stupid and and unimaginative and don't have a sense of humour. He loves me! I'm beautiful! I'm imaginative and creative and he loves the stories I tell and how funny I am. He gave me this collar and it's so pretty and you don't even have one."

The words hurt. They shouldn't but they did. "Raul, I am going to have to tell Theodore about this indiscretion. Now you can come with me while I do and we will tell him how Sal forced you. Or you can remain here while I tell him myself. If you're with me, it will be far better for you"

"I hate you! I've never liked you. You were never any fun!"

Benny sighed and left alone to speak to Theodore. The fallout from this was going to be terrible.


	3. If the way to a man's heart is through his stomach then bakers would be the most desired of men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benedict flirts with a baker and gets a free tart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my first foray into exploring a flirtation for Benedict in my quest to make him happy.

“You managed to make the raspberry cakes?”

“Of course Benny, you know I’d do anything for you.” Baxter was a large, jovial man, with an easy smile, and an easier laugh that always lifted Benedict’s spirits and made him want to laugh along. He was homely, not handsome, with a face full of laugh lines, greying hair and always that generous smile.

“Or Theodore’s money,” Benedict said.

“Now lad, you could have offered me all the money in the city and I couldn’t have grown raspberries for you in winter. It’s entirely the wrong season for them. I’d to call in a few favours, to work this little miracle, especially in such a short space of time. So you owe me. I hope the new boy appreciates it.”

With these sort of requests it usually was a safe bet that Theodore had a new boy. Benedict didn’t comment, instead he opened the box and inspected the cake inside. It was perfect, as he’d known it would be. It was one of the reasons he’d come here, instead of to Theodore’s private cook. The lightest of sponges, the filling a cloudlike concoction of raspberries and cream, all covered in a dusting of powdered sugar. He didn’t need to try it to know that it would be the best cake the new boy had ever tasted.

“Not too fancy looking, just as you asked, but made with the finest of ingredients. You could serve this to the King himself, and he’d ask for a second slice, although I’d probably have to put goldleaf or some ridiculous decoration on top of it first. Now, don’t let the boy eat all of it at once, least he get sick. It is rich, and he won’t be used to that. I made it big enough so be sure he shares it with the others. But listen to me telling you how to do your job.”

Benedict smiled and steered the conversation away from Theodore’s boys. It was always a fraught topic of conversation, one it was easiest not to dwell on. “Have you thought about Theodore’s offer, Baxter?”

“It was all very generous,” Baxter replied. “He wants to just give me money, and advice, and connections, and all I need to do is keep baking? Although after that it got very confusing to me.”

“I could explain again to you if you want?”

“You’re a good lad, Benny.” He was always lad, always Benny, although in truth Baxter wasn’t all that much older than he was. When they’d first met, that age had seemed a huge gulf, but now it was hardly anything. They were both getting old. “I’ve already had one master though, and I don’t want another. It’s bad enough having to get up at the crack of dawn to bake the daily bread and make sure all my orders are fulfilled, without having someone looking over my shoulder, counting up every coin.”

“You could employ others to help you,” Benedict suggests.

“I’ve already got a couple of lasses who come in to help. I’m happy. I know I’m just muddling along, as best as I can, but this is so much more than I ever thought I’d have already. What would I do with more money, and more business? I’ve got my bakery, my home, my cats. The only thing I could wish for would be a hardworking lad with good organisational skills to share it with.”

“I do know a young man who may be interested. He’s a little old for an apprenticeship, but he’s seeking employment.”

“I meant you, Benny, not one of his,” At the narrowing of Benedict’s lips Baxter hesitated, “boys.” As friends, there were things they just did not speak of, and Theodore’s practices were usually one of those. Twice in one conversation was rare. “I’m much too old to be racing around after someone half my age, and it wasn’t an employee I was looking for. There’s no way I could match your master’s pay anyway, but if you ever get tired of that master of yours, Benny.”

Benedict knew that he wouldn’t. They’d had this discussion before.

“I really hope he treats you right and appreciates you. You’re happy, right? You’ve seemed a bit sombre as of late. You never smile as much as you used to.”

“I am content.”

“Good. I almost forgot.” And beside the first pastry box Baxter placed a second, smaller one. “That’s for you, lad. You need a bit more sweetness in your life.”

Benedict opened the box and smiled. Within was the most beautiful pie he had ever seen. The flakiest of pastry crusts, an exquisite rosette of apple slices, fanned out to resemble a flower. The enticing scent of fruit and spice, of cool fall days, all in a perfect hand-sized pie.

“Now, that’s for you, and don’t you go sharing it. I’ll be asking you next time for your feedback on the recipe and I’ll expect answers,” Baxter grinned, goodnaturedly at this. “You work too hard and deserve a treat, and if I can’t treat my favourite customer, then what’s the point of owning my own bakery.”

“It’s beautiful,” Benedict’s smile widens. “Thank you.”

For a moment Benedict felt young again, and all the joy of a stolen fruit tart flooded back. A memory of sheer happiness and delight. Unable to resist, he took a bite, much to Baxter’s surprise and glee. He munched, crumbs falling, getting apple sauce on his hands. It was almost possible to remember how he’d been before, but there was no point in dwelling on the past. He placed the rest of the tart back in the box, and slowly licked his sticky fingers clean, enjoying the shift in the baker’s expression, the blush that spread to his cheeks, the way he was suddenly lost for words.

“Uh…”

And that look of sheer desire that sent a shiver right through Benedict.

“Delicious,” Benedict says. “I’ll save the rest for later, and think of you tonight.”

That flustered response was so worth it and Benedict couldn’t help but wink just to see the blush spread. He then picked up both of the boxes, relishing that thrill of power he felt and turned and walked to the door, not even need to check that he was being ogled. He might be old, but he was still desirable.

But he also had work to get to.


End file.
